My guest today is Ashley Collins, playwright and creator of “The Breakup Diaries” vlog series on YouTube and Instagram, featuring personal experiences, insights, and interviews. Our conversation, conducted via email and lightly edited for flow, follows.
Ashley Collins, thanks very much for talking with me today!
I am most familiar with your work through your vlog series, “The Breakup Diaries.” In one of your videos you mentioned that after college you used to pursue a career in acting, but I don’t know much else about your story. What inspired you to begin your vlog series, and how has that changed over time?
? Hey Jesse! Thank you so much for this opportunity. You already know a chance to talk with you is like candy for my brain. So yea after college I performed in multiple shows and then I got burnt out. It stopped being fun, and became more like a chore.
I met a guy and we moved to a new city together (I know, a terrible idea lol) and the relationship ended as quickly as it started. I always get told to journal, but I hate writing, so I just picked up my phone and vented like crazy for like 2 months. I eventually ran out of space on my phone cuz of all the videos I recorded and thought, “just upload them to YouTube.” Fastforward to now and here I am. Everything was unintentional chance.
Other than vlogging and acting, what are some of your other creative pursuits? Do you write books, for example, or have any plans to?
? That’s so funny that you ask that because I always kid and say I’m going to write a book titled “Don’t Move With Him” lol. Other than vlogging, all I do mainly is work. I was out of a job for 3 months due to the quarantine, but I’m a workaholic. I love working hard.
You mentioned that you’re a workaholic, what kind of work do you do these days?
? I work from home selling solar panels (sounds exciting right?)
It sounds environmentally friendly!
I have written a couple plays, they’re unpublished. One has been performed onstage. I’d like to have my work produced on stage again. It’s a very rewarding feeling.
Whoah, wait a minute, you wrote plays that have been performed on stage? Very few people can say that. That is amazing! Can you tell us more about that? what they were called, or what they were about, and what the production was like?
? You’re definitely boosting my self esteem right now, lol. They were “deconstructed” plays where we developed them throughout the rehearsal process. The one I’m most proud of was a show about “Medusa.” Her story is very tragic and I felt drawn to it. It was a beautiful piece that combined music and dance and even a fight sequence!
That sounds amazing!
Most of the plays I’ve written have primarily female characters, because I feel as if there aren’t enough women led plays. The last one I wrote was called “Mind Addict.” It was a piece about mental health, and I tried so hard to get it produced but couldn’t find the actors or venue…. maybe one day I will, or I’ll just make it into a film.
I hope you will! I think pieces addressing mental health issues; and social commentary with female leads: are very timely right now. Even if you wrote them several years ago, their time may have come, so I hope you will continue to pursue those creative endeavors.
Your vlog series seems almost like an example of “life as performance art.” Do you think of it in those terms? You seem quite spontaneous when you talk to the camera, how much do you plan your talks ahead of time?
? You are VERY observant. I do try to incorporate my art in my work. My training in college emphasized experimental and improvisational performance, so I incorporate that into my vlogs. I try not to have a “script.” I know that’s how most Vloggers do it, but it just comes off cheesy and insincere for me. I try to say what’s on my mind and in my heart, which sometimes results in me stuttering or going off on a rageful venting session; but when I stop recording, there is this feeling of cathartic release.
I usually ask myself every morning, “how do you feel?” Then I take it from there. I obviously jot down quotes and points that I want to address; that way I’m sure I don’t miss anything: but I try to be as authentic as possible. I want people who are watching to FEEL my emotion. I’m not so much concerned about the words as I am with sharing my emotional experience.
Have you ever said anything in a vlog that came back to haunt you later? I ask because when I post my spontaneous thoughts online, it doesn’t always work out well… lol
? O all the time lol. I’ve burned bridges that I’m not necessarily proud of… or maybe it was meant to happen? [But on the other hand] I’ve had people quote me when I’m feeling down and they say, “theauntofdragons said _______” and it makes me smile. It makes me feel like past Ashley is looking out for me because she knows I needed to hear these words.
O also it definitely affects me getting hired for jobs, lol. Idk why vlogging in your bra is such a huge deal for employers but it is. I think that’s more of a commentary about feminism and sexuality, but that’s a conversation for another day.
In one of your posts, you mentioned your experience taking a break from social media. How did that experience change your mindset while you were away, and did it affect your approach to social media when you returned?
I’m thankful for the break because I actually got to have “fun.” I enjoy posting and interacting but I honestly HATE being on my phone. I feel like I’m not being present throughout the day. I got to be a silly goose and go to the beach and sleep in… it felt like I was just an everyday human being… but then I had tremendous amounts of guilt. Even during the break I still recorded videos. It’s always been an outlet for me and my emotions. I’m an extremely emotional human being and most times it scares people off. It was nice being lazy for a year but also I feel like that year break I could have helped someone. It kind of makes me feel cowardly and selfish for taking the break. Coming back, I’m back to my old routines… kinda. I scroll on my phone less, which I don’t mind as much; but I’m back to posting. Sometimes I miss that lazy year, because I didn’t have to be responsible; and I miss the person I was with tremendously; but like I said, I know that’s selfish. My vlog gave me purpose, and I’m trying to reconnect with that now… it’s kinda hard, not gonna lie. So much has changed. It feels like I can’t catch up most of the time.
This may seem like a silly question, but what app do you use to edit your videos and make them so snappy?
? I’m gonna take that as a compliment because I don’t think my videos are quality at all, lol. I use Inshot. Very user friendly and fast. I would recommend it to anyone like me who’s not tech savvy.
I loved your idea of working your way into a TV show or something. What other kinds of plans are you pursuing for professional development and long-term goals?
? The thought of a TV show has been with me since I was a little girl looking at the Oprah Winfrey Show. I thought it would be so easy; I’d move to New York and say, “give me a show!” Life doesn’t work like that, lol.
I’ve also always wanted to own a theatre/ production company. I want to produce all forms of art for people of every gender, sexuality, AND disability. I feel art is meant for everyone and talent is objective. It’s a big dream, and I get laughed at often when I say it; but why not reach for the stars, right? I feel like if I keep doing this, maybe it’ll lead to something… I don’t know if it’s exactly those things but I have to keep momentum. Also, I want to own Disney, lol.
Those are excellent goals!
You come across as an extrovert with great people skills. What sort of advice would you offer someone like me, who sometimes struggles with interpersonal interactions?
? I’m an introverted-extrovert. I love people but also I can sit in the back of a room and be completely silent. I’m great at starting conversation and giving compliments, but I never feel the need to be the center of attention, although most people assume I do. I would say start in a group of people with similar interests as you and ask questions. It’s easier asking questions because you listen and don’t feel forced to talk lol. Also, don’t worry so much if people like you, if they’re judging you, or whether they’re having a good time or not! That’s too much pressure when you’re just trying to enjoy yourself! People are supposed to be fun, not threatening. Don’t treat being social like going to an audition.
That is good advice, thank you.
Bonus question: what are you reading these days?
Right now it’s a ton of articles. No book yet… I have people who give me recommendations, but I’m a huge fiction/ fantasy girl. I don’t want to read another self help book, I want to escape for a little bit.
Anything else you feel like sharing?
This was my first time doing an interview like this, so thank you so so much for allowing me this opportunity. I feel like you understand me and the message I’m trying to convey with my work. I want to say something cheesy like “don’t give up” or a selfish plug about following me but I really want to thank you. I remember you gave me your manifesto to read and I was at a miserable job and I read it and it helped keep me sane. Thank you for allowing to read your work and never charging me. I know artists are never compensated for everything they do but I hope you know it meant a lot to me.
That’s very kind of you, thank you. Knowing that you connected with those ideas is worth much more to me than any sale. I really appreciate that. Also, “don’t give up!” is great advice!
Ashley Collins, thank you so much for joining me today! It has been such a pleasure talking with you. I admire your work and your goals, and I wish you the best of success in pursuing your dreams!
Ladies and gentlemen, you can find Ashley Collins posting on social media under the following handles. Be sure to check out her work and give her a follow!
Facebook: Ashley Collins
INSTAGRAM: @theauntofdragons
Twitter @theauntofdragon
Tiktok @theauntofdragons
YouTube The Breakup Diaries
In this podcast, I interview my friend Jon “Armadel” Rigby: painter, sculptor, author, musician, and spiritual guru.
